


We Are Starstuff

by johnnysuhs (johnnylisp)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Kinda, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, brief mark and jaehyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-02 01:09:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15785874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnylisp/pseuds/johnnysuhs
Summary: As they shared a blunt under the stars, Taeyong realized he fell in love with a big guy with big thoughts.





	We Are Starstuff

**Author's Note:**

> i am having an existential crisis and don't kno what to do

The stars… are just stars. They are big balls of light and heat, and energy, but that’s all it is to Taeyong. They might be pretty when you’re looking at them with someone just vibing from their energy, like tonight.

 

“House party at Jae’s! Starts at 8 if you’re down for some pre-game drinks,” Mark hollered down the halls, his crunchy dyed hair flying in all directions.

Spotting Taeyong, Mark rushes to his side, throwing his arm around the senior’s shoulders “Taeee, you gotta come. Johnny said he will be there.”

Throwing Mark’s shoulder off, Taeyong whispered, “how many times do I have to tell you that I do NOT have a crush on Johnny?”

Mark’s childish grin could not be less endearing as he coughed out, “when you guys finally get married.”

Taeyong whacked him with his backpack as Mark put his hands out to shield himself from the oncoming attack.

“At least try to come. Jaehyun misses you.”

 

It’s not the Taeyong hated parties. It’s just that Jaehyun’s parties always involved Johnny Suh, another senior that took the same literature class Taeyong had for the past three years of college.They never talked, but Taeyong had to admit that he was almost pathetically in love with the tall man. After all, he was tall, handsome, and judging by what he shares in class, he’s too smart to be going to some B level university. 

Johnny Suh was the only reason Taeyong would ever find himself at a Jung Jaehyun party. He would endure the shitty air conditioning, cheap beer, and the amount of bodies that went over the room capacity, and perhaps the building capacity. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun slurred, his eyes unfocused and heavy. “You made it. Johnny’s in the kitchen if you were wondering.”

Taeyong could feel his ears heat up, but he covered it up with an eye-roll and an annoyed “ha ha ha.”

“I need a drink,” Taeyong said, pulling away from his drunk friend. He headed into the kitchen not to see if Johnny was actually there and if Jaehyun was just messing with him, but because he needed a drink.

As he walked in, he saw him in his full broad back, thick muscular glory. His back was facing Taeyong, but he could still see a small grinder in Johnny’s hand, and a cleaned and prepared blunt wrap spread out on the counter. 

Sensing a new presence, Johnny looked over his shoulder, and Taeyong felt his heart stop. He was really attractive, and to see Johnny actually acknowledge him after three years of being classmates, Taeyong couldn’t act casual.

“Oh, hey. Taeyong.”

“Hey.” The words ghosted over Taeyong’s lips, and for a second, he wondered if he even said anything because it didn’t feel like he did.

“Have you ever smoked?” Johnny no longer was looking at him. Instead, his was sprinkling ground up Marijuana along the wrap. 

How long has Johnny been smoking? His big fingers expertly picked of the tiny contents and spread it evenly and accurately without making too much of a mess.

Taeyong stood there at the entrance, watching Johnny. 

“Only once. Didn’t feel anything much, though,” Taeyong replied 

Johnny turned around with the blunt rolled in between his fingers. He kept eye contact as he brought the edge of the wrapper to his lips and licked it closed like how one would lick an envelope shut. It may be the hottest thing Taeyong has seen so far in his life.

After he sealed it, he pointed it towards Taeyong who was still standing by the entrance like an idiot. “Wanna smoke this with me?”

The party was in full swing in the room beside them, but the music and people sounded far away. It was as if they were the only two people who existed.

Taeyong nodded. Who was he to refuse?

Johnny smiled. He looked dopey, but Taeyong liked that a lot. Honestly, Johnny’s farts would probably smell amazing to him because he liked him that much. 

“Great. Let’s go upstairs. There’s an entrance to the rooftop there.”  
Taeyong followed Johnny up four flights of stairs before the reached a door with a warning sign and a flyer that was stained with age containing a hotline number. Johnny had to nudge the door a few times with his shoulder before it fell open.

“Woah, this is so cool,” Taeyong said in awe. It was empty for the most part, but there was a rolled up sleeping bag leaning against the entrance. Johnny picked it up and laid it down the in the middle of the floor.

“I know. I like to come here when I want to smoke because the wind blows the smell away, and there are no cameras. There’s little risk. Plus the stars are pretty.”

Taeyong looked up, his hands in his pockets. It was pretty. But it was just stars.

Johnny patted the spot next to him on the sleeping bag. “Sit.” Taeyong tentatively sat next to him, careful to keep an appropriate amount of space between them.

He watched as Johnny brought the brown log to his mouth and lit it. Taking a long drag, Johnny held his breath for a few seconds before letting out a smooth cloud of smoke. Maybe it was because they were along under the night sky, but it felt so intimate in a way Taeyong rarely feels with anyone. 

“Here… Just inhale slowly and stop before you feel like you’re going to cough.” 

Johnny brought the blunt to Taeyong’s lips and held it there for him. Heat spread through his lungs, and his throat constricted uncomfortably. Noticing his expression, Johnny pulled the blunt away as Taeyong coughed harshly. 

“Breathe. It’s okay to cough.” Johnny calmed Taeyong down with soothing rubs to his back.

“That was harsh,” Taeyong laughed as soon as his coughing fit was over. “Didn’t expect that,” he says lightly.

Johnny laughed quietly, before taking another drag from the shrinking log.

“Yeah. It was funny but cute.”

“Cute?”

“Yeah. You’re cute. Here.”

Johnny passed the blunt back to him, and he absentmindedly took another hit, though, this time with a better understanding of his limits. His lungs were not used to inhaling huge quantities at one time. After the second hit, Taeyong felt a certain lightheadedness. It was like waking up, or being sick, but without the discomfort.

“How are you feeling?” Johnny looked at Taeyong, almost peering into his soul, with his red-rimmed eyes looking droopier than usual. It was amazing like he was wholly captivated by Taeyong. The attention was thrilling and maybe it was the weed, but Taeyong just wanted to kiss him. (It’s not the weed.)

Taeyong smiled, holding the half sized blunt out for Johnny to take. “I guess I feel… high? I feel light and warm.” The little account made Johnny’s lips turn up softly.

So many times, Taeyong has read about the soft tenderness that a mother looks at her baby with or that a someone looks at their lover with, but he’s never been on the receiving end of such a gaze. 

“You’re so beautiful, Taeyong. Like the stars,” Johnny says matter of factly. He peers up to the sky as he takes another long drag. 

Taeyong is frozen. This is new. It’s beautiful and unlike any compliment, he has ever been given. 

“Thank you,” Taeyong finally replies after taking his third hit. He was already feeling the effects and wondered what would happen if he kept inhaling more. “Why the stars?”

“Stars?” Johnny leaned back on his hands and looked up. The wind rustled through his bangs, and the moon outlined the slope of his neck, the little hump of his Adam’s apple, and the tall bridge of his nose. 

“Hmm. I don’t know. I just really like stars. Stars seem like... A constant. They are just that, but people have admired them for so long. They are studied and admired, and because of stars, we have made advancements in math and developed the concept of time.” Johnny squashed the small stump on the cement. 

Taeyong’s mind was whirring. He had no idea what Johnny was saying, but at the same time, he understood. He took a similar position beside Johnny on the sleeping bag and leaned in closer to him, the smell of his cologne traveling with the soft breeze. 

“What do you mean by the concept of time?” Taeyong has never heard of this, and it sounded really weird, but it wasn’t surprising that the tall man would talk about stuff like this. He was more intelligent than he leads on. Even though he acted obnoxious sometimes at any party Taeyong has gone to, he still carried himself confidently and talked as if he knew something no one else knew. It was one of the reasons he liked him so much, and this experience showed a side he’s never seen from Johnny.

“You know, the concept of time. A human construct. At least I think of this. ANd Einstein. He believed that our universe is comprised of four dimensions unlike that three most people think of. And he believed that the past, present, and future are just there. I mean think about it: the only reason why we believe in the illusion of time is that we all have memories, and we believe memories are what we experienced from the past. But how would we know? Memories are just neurons, and even then, our brain automatically alters any gaps in our memory to piece together a timeline, and those memories aren’t real. It’s why we remember things differently from someone else who might’ve experienced the same event.”

“Wow,” Taeyong drawled. “You kind of talk a lot,” he finally said.

Johnny laughed lightly, still looking at Taeyong with those fond eyes. “I know. You’re actually really quiet. I don’t know why I thought that you would be loud.”

Taeyong giggled. A giggle. “I am still trying to get a feel of things right now. I kinda just want to lay down.”

“Lay down, but don’t fall asleep, please. I would like to have your company.”

The shorter male giggled again as he sprawled across the sleeping bag. Even though he talked to Johnny today more than he ever has, he doesn’t really feel nervous. Rather, he feels a comfortableness he only ever feels around his close friends. He was even awkward with Jaehyun, and he’s known him since their freshman year. 

“Lay by me,” Taeyong whined. He patted the space next to him until Johnny finally complies.

“You’re so cute,” Johnny said for the second time.

Another giggle. “You said that already,” Taeyong replied shyly. He can hear his own heartbeat speeding up rapidly in his ears, and his skin heats up immediately. Despite that, he could still feel Johnny’s warmth from beside him. His senses were in overdrive as he felt Johnny brush his hand through his hair, and he couldn’t hold back the soft moan. 

“Oh my god. I can’t believe I,” Taeyong didn’t finish, too embarrassed by the sound to even explain himself. 

“Shut up, you’re so adorable,” Johnny hushes, running his fingers back through Taeyong’s soft brown hair. Taeyong preened like a cat, succumbing to the relaxing touches. 

“Feels good, huh?” 

Taeyong nodded with closed eyes, a content smile barely visible under the night sky taking over his features. He liked this feeling. His heart was racing, but it felt full, overflowing with a calm euphoria and contentedness. 

“My hand hurts,” Johnny remarked as he pulled his hand away only to rest it on Taeyong’s stomach. Taeyong put his hand over Johnny’s, smiling softly. 

Then he giggled again. It was so funny how he and Johnny are cuddled up on the rooftop of his dorm’s building. 

“What’s so funny?” Johnny looked at him curiously, his lips quirked in amusement. 

Taeyong squeezed his hand gently, making sure that he wasn’t just imagining it because his hand felt like it wasn’t there for a second. “Us. We are funny. We never even like really talked to each other before this. I wish we did talk before, though…”

Johnny suddenly shifted, resting his head on a propped up arm. “I wanted to talk to you, you know. I really did, but I thought you, like, I don’t know. I kinda forgot what I was gonna say just now because you’re like, really pretty. Wow.” 

Taeyong squealed. Literally. He buried his head in Johnny’s chest in embarrassment. Despite the embarrassment, he felt so full from the confession. It was never really one-sided.

“We’re kinda dumb,” Taeyong sighed. “We could’ve been friends at the very least if we just sucked it up.” 

Johnny smiled teasingly, and that alone spurred on a full body wave of nervousness, excitement and something akin to intense admiration in Taeyong. “Wait, does that mean you have been wanting to talk to me too?”

Taeyong might’ve blushed, but he couldn’t tell because his face felt unnaturally warm since the beginning. “Honestly, yeah. Remember Mr. Jung’s class freshman year? I… oh my god, I can’t believe I’m actually gonna say this,” Taeyong breathes out anxiously.

Johnny rubbed his arm soothingly, silently encouraging Taeyong to continue. 

“When we were studying Gilgamesh, and you said something about Gilgamesh being a coward, or whatever, I was, like, in love. You were- no, you still are- so so smart. I was really impressed, but I was still shy--especially because you were really tall and big! I was intimidated.”

“Seriously? I remember you too from that class. It’s kinda hard not to notice you. Everyone thinks you’re hot.”

Taeyong lost feeling in his legs, practically, and it was replaced by vibrations. It was utter relaxing, and he briefly wonders if that’s why everyone smokes. 

“I don’t know. I was really awkward freshman year. Ugh.” 

Johnny shifts back onto his back, peering up at the sky again. “No, you were cute. Still are. Ah! I remember what I was going to say now. I never talked to you because well… I don’t even know if I should tell you this, but my friend liked you. A lot. And since he said it first, I didn’t want to be a bad friend for trying to talk to you while he was. I figured my crush would go away, but you were always there wherever,” Johnny smiled bitterly.

Taeyong softly asked, “is it Jaehyun?” 

Johnny sighed. “Yeah.” 

“Oh.” Taeyong suddenly felt bad, but the feeling was soon replaced with hope. “I figured, but he doesn’t like me anymore.”

“I know,” Johnny replied, pulling Taeyong into his chest. “If he did, I would’ve continued dodging you until graduation.”

“You’re way too nice,” Taeyong replied fondly, the fullness returning full force as he brushed his fingers through the taller man’s bangs. Johnny, just from the tidbits that Jaehyun and Mark shared, was a good friend. And maybe a lover? He couldn’t stop the idea from growing. He entertained the idea before, but this time, it actually feels possible. 

Johnny looked at him, his eyes searching from one to the other. Taeyong could feel Johnny’s heart beating heavily by his head, and for a second, that’s all that he could hear. No more cars, no more ambient chatter, no more rustling wind. It was just Johnny and his presence. 

“Can I kiss you?” Johnny gulped, placing his hand tentatively under Taeyong’s chin. 

Taeyong manages a “yeah” but it came out like a breathe, mingling with the breeze.

Somehow, Johnny understands it, and he wastes no time placing a soft kiss against Taeyong’s lips, pulling away only to kiss again more firmly. HIs arms tightened around Taeyong’s small waist, gently squeezing it.

“Johnny.” Taeyong broke away. “I want to date you.”

Johnny smiled so brightly; the stars could never compare.

“I would love that,” he replied tenderly, wrapping his hand around the back of Taeyong’s head before pressing a kiss to his forehead, and then pulling him back into his chest.

**Author's Note:**

> the a/n at the beginning is so funny bc i wrote half in the middle of te night and it was supposed to be them sharing conspiracy theories and stuff and the next day, i finished it but i was feeling better so i just ended it as fluff. might do a second part bc I LOVE THEM and i kinda wanna do something related where they are actually/together/


End file.
